There will be no Prizes Awarded

Methodically free? Sounds strangely bi-polar, doesn’t it? Like
a robot trying to rap. I mean, "free," is like, free, and
"methodical" is like, not so free. Right? I agree; can’t be.
Methodical does not, in fact, modify the word, "free." It would be
like a hostile amendment, not just a modification.

Like, "Red House" is okay. It’s okay because "red" does not
contradict the basic nature of the noun it modifies. But you can’t say
"Red Green" because they’re trying to describe the same quality,
color, with another color (Actually, you may remember that was the name of a TV
show).

So what about "Free Methodists?" Can you be essentially methodical,
with a twist of "free"? I suppose, but you’ve still got to decide how
free you can be without essentially damaging the methodical part. (I know that “Methodist”
isn’t quite the same as “methodical,” but they’re at least fraternal twins.)

Here’s a question you may have heard before: “Free
Methodist? What’s that?”
How do you answer? And PLEASE don’t talk about rented pews. Not a great pick-up
line. And even the slavery plank, although still important, sounds like a confused
history lesson.

Here are two attempts:

We’re followers of Jesus who are methodical in “what” we believe, we’re free in
everything else.

We’re free in the “how,” methodical in the “what.”

Right, those are no good. So what’s your answer? Post a comment with your best shot (just 1 line please). What’s
a “Free Methodist?”